Dr. Pepper over Sonic Ice in a Foam Cup

Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

Sounds like an alcoholic’s drink order – and in some ways it probably was. This used to be how I dealt with emotion.

Happy? Celebrate with a Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

Sad? Mourn with a Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

Nervous? Distract yourself with a Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

Frustrated? Mull it over with a Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

Overwhelmed? Escape with a Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

Excited? Share with a Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice in a foam cup.

I never knew food had that place in my life until I started to realized my emotional response was not prayer, exercise or talking to a friend – it was a liquid that did nothing but make my love handles bulge.

Today I ran into a figurative wall and my initial response was “I’m going to sonic as soon as I get out of here” then I laughed and starting planning Tiffany and I’s work out instead while blaring my new worship playlist.

I think sometimes how silly we must look to God. He’s there every time we hit a wall, get hurt, make choices. He’s there waiting to celebrate with us, encourage us, hold us and yet rarely has my response the last year been to allow Him to be with me in the moment.

So thankful to have people around me that are helping me see how unhealthy that was in my life….and not just the Dr. Pepper habit….but the never letting God in on my moments habit.

God wants to be with me in the moments.

I feel like this will be a long lesson for me. What about you….what’s your emotional response? How do you allow God to be part of your moments?

Shameless Plug

To all my ladies in ministry (volunteer roles, paid roles, pastor’s wives, etc) I don’t know what you are doing this week but may I suggest…

The JustOne Conference hosted by Leading and Loving It.

They show the FREE conference 4 times each week – so there is bound to be a time that works for you. Some of my favorite female leaders are speaking and I’m so excited to sit and have a chance to learn from them.

Grab a friend, some coffee or Dr. Pepper 10, gather around a computer screen together and take some time to recharge.

Click HERE from more info on the conference!

I’ll be watching Tuesday evenings at work – let me know if you’re in the area and you can join the other staff ladies and myself!

I would love to hear when you watching and what you take away each session! Here’s to 4 weeks of bliss!

When Failure Propels

Failure. We fear it. We avoid it. We take an easier road to outsmart it. We hide when it happens.

Maybe I should just put I instead of we but I like to pretend I’m not alone.

Failure. It hurts. It’s humbling. At first it feels debilitating. It’s rarely pretty.

 

And yet…failure propels.

 

It makes us think differently. It makes us receive help. It makes us take ownership. It propels us forward.

When we fail we can react 1 of 2 ways

*Own it and be honest in our failure

*Avoid it and act like it was no big deal/didn’t happen

Some of the best connections I have made with students is when they know I’ve failed – they might not get details but knowing that I have messed up, that I got in trouble sometimes, that I don’t have it all together creates a connection.

Failure can propel relationships in ministry.

One of the biggest “professional/ministry” failures I have ever had still hurts. I had to honestly go to my team and apologize for failing them as co-workers and putting something that was important to our ministry in jeopardy because I failed at the planning, creating and implementing process of an event. Students probably have no clue it was a fail – but internally it got a F- and it should have been a win. But it failed. I failed. And I had to own that.

This year – that failure is going to propel what our ministry can do way further. People are stepping in and helping. Teams are excited to do what they do best and plan parts, fund parts, execute parts so our team can focus on loving students.

Failure is propelling our ministry forward.

And that’s a hard bite to chew. But it makes me think about all the times when I was so scared to fail that I would just quit. Or when I failed I would be so upset I never dealt with it, never tried to make things better. The more I’m in ministry the more I see failure propel. Honestly, I probably fail a lot more now – but I do it with a little less fear each time (there’s still plenty).

Really – it’s a lesson in trusting God. The more I trust Him – the more I know that a failure from me is not truly a fail.  When I trust Him and seek Him I see the win.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:11-13

Monday Musings

* It’s true that a bath with candlelight is way more relaxing than a normal bath

*Working out with a friend who has the same goals is more motivating than working out alone or with someone who is on a different track

*Time spent with the Lord is truly the best time I can invest in my day. The more I understand and learn this – the more I continue to see it be true in my life

*Working with people you can call friends is a joy too many people will never experience

*I’ve been trying to study John from the Bible lately – but I am way more intrigued by Peter at the moment.

*One of the highlights of working with students is watching their spiritual journey unfold – seeing them grow in understanding of God’s love and plan for them, watching them lead and serve, seeing them make a difference

*One of the struggles of working with students is watching all the traps that they run into, run around, get snatched up by, tempted by, slowed down by along their journey. Finding the balance between love and coaching while letting them experience things on their own.

*I’m discovering that my spiritual disciplines and physical disciples are more connected than I ever knew.

What are you Monday Musings?

Moments

This week when my brother emailed us I got 2 emails.

I love getting 2 emails because it means there is something he wants to share with me. It’s like getting picked first at dodgeball.

This week – a funny moment. A little glimpse as something that’s on his mind.

We back and forth joked about the matter – knowing the whole time that both of us were probably more serious than we ever wanted the other to know.

I am thankful for the moment, both past, current and future that I have with my Bub. Excited for the moments that will bring clarity, healing and joy in the future.

 

And today I get to have some special moments with my sister. Driving home, snow or shine today to spend the evening with and that sweet bundle she gave life to. Moments of Sonic Runs, Big Bang Theory, laughing and snuggles.

 

Blessed that I truly love time with my family.

 

Cherish the moments you have this week.

Esther

We are teaching on Esther for midweek tomorrow.

She’s kicking my butt.

Esther had favor with people. She had wise counsel in her life. She was brave, courageous and strong. She was bold before the king. She was smart in her approach. She trusted in the Lord. She counted her cost. She was honoring to her people.

I’m sure she was scared. I know Esther wasn’t perfect. But Esther had an opportunity, put her faith and trust in the Lord and went for it.

How many opportunities have I forfeited because my trust was in my own power not God’s?

I’m determined to not be perfect, but to be better. To daily practice Esther moments of seizing opportunity, noticing where God has me and having a faith in Him that expects big things.

And if in the process I learn how to do my hair and wear stylish clothes…well it wouldn’t be terrible to reflect Esther in that way either

 

Expect big things today friends. Faith. Favor. Trust. Obedience.

Vain Voting

This is awkward.

But my dear friend Grace Pierson hooked this sister up with some new blog headers. But the problem is –  I can’t decide which one to use.

So it’s up to you.

The vote is open until more than my mom votes or I blog again or one of my celebrity crushes chimes in with his vote, and an offer for dinner.

 

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Option 4

Option 5

Reminded

Last night was New Years Eve and I know I should have some profound post for you about 2011 in review or 2012 unfolding.

Some new piece of advice or resolution…but I don’t.

I could make one up.

But instead I thought I would share with you this reminder I got at NYE with my friends.

It had been a full day, following a full week of vaca.

Crowds, pee breaks, coming up with a plan, then we went into this theater to watch some improv and we stayed after for a concert.

I wasn’t really paying attention really. I was distracted by a thought.

and then it hit me —- and by hit I mean the sound of their lyrics collided with my brain and heart pulling everything to a halt.

“Come to me, you tired and heavy-laden
Come to me with all your weariness
Here with me is where you’ll find your haven
And I will give you rest”

So thankful that the Lord knows me. That He knows how quickly I can become too busy, too clouded, too distracted from His heart. He gets that tension between working hard towards a goal, even a goal for Him and taking time to rest and enjoy the life He has made for me.

Reminded. Before I could even look ahead to a new year. Reminded.

 

When Hearts Fade

We’ve hit the halfway mark. A year ago my brother left and in a year he will be home.

It’s been a crazy year. A lot of great things have happened. I think I embrace their joy more fully because I feel it deeper. Each time I go to text him or tell him something great that has happened there is a pang of sadness that we can’t share with him like we used to. But it also makes you experience things deeper. I feel more of the emotion and power behind events.

I’m so thankful for the people who have surrounded me this past year. Especially through Christmases – they tend to be the hardest.

I think it’s because Christmas is such a big thing for our family. The memories of decorating the tree to Alvin and the Chipmunks, to pretending to drip wax on each other at the Candlelight Christmas Eve service, to sibling presents that night, to opening presents Christmas morning your pajams (and not until Ross came to gather you all in to the room). Most of our Christmas traditions were Ross’s.

But I seriously could not be more thankful that when my heart fades and I just flat out miss my brother – when tears are far too close to falling, when talks are painful to write, when promises and faithfulness seem empty  –  they are right there surrounding me.

They have kept me laughing. They have kept me busy. They have helped me stay focused on fulfilling the purpose I have where I am. They have listened to me whine. They have let me cry. They have bought Dr. Pepper and ice cream. They have shared memories, checked on my when hard days loom and been thoughtful.

I. Am. So. Blessed.

Thank you for being there for me when my heart fades and being a constant reminder of God’s nearness.

Psalm 34:18 NLT

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

His Name is Conlin

…and I’m in love with him. And any day now my sister will call me to say she’s on her way to the hospital to have this precious little man who has already grasped my heart so tightly it hurts. Maybe it’s because he’s my first nephew. Maybe it’s because I can already sense the huge plan God has on his life. Maybe it’s because I love babies and new life. Whatever the reason, I love him.

Dear Conlin,

Hi bubbers. I love you so much already it’s crazy. When you’re 5 and read this you’ll think I’m awesome. When you’re 12 and read this you’ll probably be embarrassed. But that’s good for you. Keeps you humble. I don’t want you to have a big noggin.

You are a trickster right now – you keep waking me up in the middle of the night with dreams that you are on your way – then I check my phone and NOTHING. So by the time you get here I’ll be exhausted. But truly you have no idea what a blessing you are to this family and my heart.

There are some things you need to know because you come out of your comfy womb:

1. You have great parents. They love the Lord. They love you. They were smart and faithful in following God’s plan for you to be here. Your mom is one of my best friends so you can always come to my house or call when you’re frustrated but know that I’m going to have her back.

2. You have really great grandparents. That’s partly why your parents are so great. Lots of love and spoiling for you is available!

3. You’re love in a tiny diaper. My prayer for you is that as you grow older you would be a living breathing example of God’s love to people. That you would be strong in your leadership, gentle in your words and bold in your example.

I’m so ready for you to be here that I don’t even have words to put on this page. But know that I love you and will always be your Aunt Jo Jo, will take you to Sonic whenever you’re thirsty, buy you food when your tummy growls, pray for you when you have a big game or talk and support you in any way I can (even if it’s supporting your pacifier dependency as a child)

Love you little man. Get here soon!

 

Love,

Aunt Jo Jo