So i just am struggling to figure out how i should feel about being here. maybe the problem is i don’t let myself just feel anymore and i think about how i should feel. anyway. i used to love this place. i used to thrive here and eat it up and now i just don’t like it. plain and simple. before when i would want to quit school i had other things to hold onto and now, i don’t. i love my friends here for sure but it’s like there are certain environments and behaviors i’m not comfortable with and don’t want to be in. so i have had some nice time to catch up on blogs and i would have hung up pictures in my room but i guess i left them all at home.
and, i would like to go to romania and hold babies or to the maldive islands to help beth and eric. why am i here? that’s my question for god. before i could see it and now i can’t. i want to do my internship this semester but then i want to just take a semester and love on youth all the time and then go hold babies.
i am trying to stay positive and think of positive things such as
*church this morning was terrific, refreshing, i almost went again just so i could hear it again.
*i have seen some friends and that was nice
*my roommate is very sweet, she is very busy, makes me look like i do nothing 🙂 and we will get to know each other better this week
*i have already worked twice for ambassadors so thats like 30 points closer to getting paid.
***sidenote and allusion to another post…i fell off a sidewalk 🙂
so they say a picture is worth a thousand words…according to my word counts this one is only worth about 325 but here is how i feel (note my UA polo) 🙂