I realized today that I am really anxious for February to come. Not for Groundhog’s Day, because honestly I don’t care about my birthday or turning 21. Not for Valentine’s Day, because I have never understood or liked that holiday. Not for President’s Day, because I am ignorant and don’t really know what Pres. we celebrate or way (lincoln and wash maybe?) but for CSM. I want an answer. I just want to know what the next step is for me.

I’m not anxious in a worry kind of way. I am anxious in an excited way. I really need an opportunity like this. My heart is ready to be away from all that is familiar, and I love the things and people that are familiar but for me to step into the next phase of my life that God has planned for me I must learn to grow independently and rely on Him and learn to care for myself. I have had good training and if I got lost in the wooded jungle could survive….for a night. The point is, that for a long time I knew God wanted all of me and that He still has a plan for me and that it will require great sacrifice.

This summer is just the start of that for me. It’s scary as I realize by accepting and acknowledging that He wants me I am opening myself up to no limits of where I could be in 1 year. And I’m cool with that. But for now, I would like to know where I will be this summer. 🙂 Because I’m excited and ready and just want to know. I have no back up plan ha ha hope that is truly faith and not ignorance. So I’m anxious excited for February to get here. Just gonna glide through the next couple of months and wait for it ok 🙂

And I leave you with this stepping stone…and internship. It was almost like a real job. I learned a lot (I just wrote a 6 page paper about it so I’m kinda over sharing) 🙂 sorry! I look at my portfolio and there is a lot more in there than I originally expected, which is helpful.

This picture was from the Bartender’s Charity Ball. I was not allowed past the Christmas Tree 🙂



4 thoughts on “Anxious

  1. It is exciting to wonder where you will go. I love that God already knows and the very second we need to know something He tells us—but this is better than every Christmas and birthday rolled into one.

    1. seekingrecklessabandon says:

      no 😦 if anything it will be the end of feb. beginning of march because they don’t do alot of interviews before then.

  2. Deb says:

    I’m excited for that confirmation about this summer too. It’s as if He is placing you on the runway of the flight He has before you. “Find Your Wings” by Mark Harris is still my prayer for you (and all my chilen’).

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