Seriously God I DON’T want to learn this lesson

In 2.5 hours it will be April 1st.

Not that I’m counting.

In September God started heavily stirring the messed up pot of my heart to love beyond my boundaries. To love in an area that would really push me, to go to the unlovables, the forgotten, the overlooked and love on them. I filled out an application with a ministry my heart burned for.

In October I turned in the application.

On Halloween I interviewed in Chicago.

God took that fire in my heart and increased it.

At that point they thought they could tell me if I had the job or not the beginning of March.

So I waiting. I practiced patience. I put aside my desire and “need” to know and plan. I said Ok God if you want this let’s do it. I won’t plan my summer without you. I’m willing to go.

So, the second week of March I get an e-mail that it will be the end of March before I hear. I ensure that my name is on every cities list because this is where my heart is.

A week ago one of my best friends interviewed for the same job in NYC. They told her two weeks.

In 2.5 hours it’s April. No longer March when I was “supposed” to hear. I have been patient for the most part, but I’m wearing thin. I mean two weeks is a week or two into April. Am I supposed to plan a backup? When do I say, Ok I can’t wait any longer I have to pursue other leads? When do I get to be impatient?

My heart is with the unlovables. I just want to know.

I don’t want to be patient any longer


Colossians 1:10-12 (New International Version)

10And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[a] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Seriously God I DON’T want to learn this lesson

2 thoughts on “Seriously God I DON’T want to learn this lesson

  1. I love your new header. What sometimes stirs up my impatience even more….God already knows…exactly where you are supposed to be and when. And when you’re supposed to know you’ll know… no fun, absolutely no fun

  2. Deb says:

    For some reason you are not suppose to know yet. Maybe He doesn’t want you to get too comfortable making plans because He has more to reveal to you as you get closer. Maybe….we just aren’t suppose to ‘know’ as much as we are suppose to sit at His feet and wait. Bah…hard, it’s hard. But it WILL be good in the end:)

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