Oh you must be miserable…

“Oh, poor thing you must be miserable”

“Oh just wait hunny in God’s timing it will all work out”

“Well if you would just stop looking it will come”

“Just be patient and it will be better than you ever imagined”

“You just need to spend more time with Jesus and He will complete you”

“Get over it”

“You should meet my cousin/uncle’s brother’s nephew/pool boy/manny”

All of these are responses that my friends and I have heard lately concerning our singleness. Now let me start off by letting you know that the 4 friends that I have talked with lately about being single are not desperate, depressed or disgusting.

In fact, my single friends are quite the catch and someday they and their mates will be happily singing “Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me” by Salt ‘N’ Pepa and making me some babies to hold. However, until then they are happy to be rocking out some great time with Jesus and being content. This does not mean there is no struggle in being single. It does not mean that sometimes there is sadness or days that are harder than others. It just means there is not a desperation about being single or a sadness about not having a ring on the finger.

It’s crazy to me though that the above statements are true statements that come out of people’s mouth. O glory. Thank you for the words of encouragement. And I know that many of these statements came from people who genuinely cared and wanted to help. But maybe that’s the problem.

Maybe we don’t need to “fix” the single people. Maybe it’s ok and healthy and beneficial for them to be single. But when we make comments about not being patient enough or in tune with Jesus’ plan enough we assume they are not getting it, that they are missing something. All of the above statements have grains of truth in them and to some people really need to be said and would hold weight. But not all statements for single people are applicable to single people.

There are true benefits to being single and sometimes everyone else gets so busy telling people to “fix” their singleness that everyone misses the lessons and advantages of being single.

So, if you are single, rejoice in it! Get excited about why you are single and what you can make of it. If you’re married, relish it. Enjoy it! Love it! Work on it daily. Don’t worry about your single friends…most of them will turn out just fine.

And as an added bonus. Something all the singles and I have laughed about lately…

is the response you get if you say you are not sure you want to get married….

“But you have such great hair/eyes”

being hot is not a good reason to get married.

I’m just saying.

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Oh you must be miserable…

5 thoughts on “Oh you must be miserable…

  1. Darcié says:

    Lauren Winner’s “Real Sex” is a great book about celebrating singleness and marriage in the Church. So good and I think you would like it!

    My favorite line was from my grandma, and I probably have shared it before: “You used to have the cutest little heart shaped butt. I just don’t understand why you can’t get a date.”

  2. Deb says:

    How am I gonna spoil your babies if you don’t get married and have some???? I’m not rushing you. I’m not saying anything is wrong with being single for however long God determines. However, you would have such adorable grandbabies for me. Just saying… (smile)

  3. ummm..being one of your single friends I completely agree with this. So, that being said, I want to make sure we encourage each other (us single people anyways) and make sure we aren’t getting ourselves consumed with not being in a relationship. You said it awesome and I’m glad you spoke on this. Definitely encouraged me a lot 🙂

  4. HisChild4ever says:

    Paul had a great perspective on singleness which sometimes sadly gets no press….

    “But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. ” 1 Cor 7

    35This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

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