100% of the time God knows what He is going.
87% of the time I question or doubt Him.
100% of the time He is patient and takes care of my anyway.
I was struggling with the whole “figure out your life bit”. I for some reason thought I needed to start looking in October for what God wanted me to do in May. And I had a plan. I thought it was a good one. God and I were talking about it and He was moving my heart towards a full reliance on Him since once again it seems I have flirted with the lines of trying to control my own life.
And then there was a curve in the road. All of a sudden I had two things to pray about and think about. They were completely different. They required different sacrifices. They were different levels of challenge and uncomfortable. Originally I labeled one as easier than the other. I would like to retract that judgement now please.
I had a friend challenge me to not just pray that God would make it very clear where I needed to be but that doors would slam closed where I was not to go. So I prayed. I prayed I would get my face smashed as the door slammed. I prayed He would slam one or both of the doors. And then came the day when I would find out. As I waited for one door the other door kept taunting me with phone calls and e-mails but no answers or direction.
And then a door got slammed in my face. He was faithful. He had placed the second door in my path for a reason and He needed me to walk through the process and see that He is good and faithful.
So now I have a job. I start December 1st. I am excited and nervous about it all at the same time. In December I will begin at NorthPoint Church as the Student Ministries Coordinator, taking care of all of our communication and planning and backstage work so our two youth pastors can focus on teaching and equipping our students. Working in a church terrifies me. Working at NPC excites me though. I’m glad I get to be a part of place that works to fight global giants and love people wherever they are. I am blessed to know that I am in an environment where Jesus is the focus and truth matters. I will also work with humans. Which is way better than working with robots! 🙂 you get what I mean.
As my mind races and I tell myself fear is homeless Jesus says
Two of my sweet roommates and I went out to eat the other day (I have to eat now since my budget next year does not account for the size of my stomach) ha ha and we were on a side of town where homeless or travelers frequently fly signs. It is right by a highway and Walmart and McDonald’s. Whenever I see a person flying a sign I can’t help but think of JR from Nashville and all his adventures of flying a blank sign so he would not be arrested.
When we were done eating we needed to run to Walmart then go home since we all had huge to do lists and homework that could not be negated any longer.
Then came a curve in the road.
We had extra food so sweet Jessica suggested we go find someone with a sign. Thankfully I still have not cleaned out my car (sorry dad) so I had an extra fork (clean too) in my car. So we drove by the grandpa aged man and Jess gave him the food. His response with lighted eyes was “Well this sure beats a hamburger! Thanks”
Jesus and I had been wrestling lately with how I was struggling not being out there with the homeless. I knew He was using me with our neighbors and people at school and my youth girls but my heart just missed that special spot and conversations that come from homeless friends.
So when we gave the food to that man and saw his genuine appreciation it clicked. Jess and I had to do more. What was great is that there wasn’t really a discussion about it. We both knew we needed to do it and so all it took was “well should we….yes” and we were prancing about Walmart like kids making a Christmas list getting some “supplies ” for our new friend.
We had people waiting on us across town at our house, but we were busy 🙂
So we packed up his bag and went to take the stuff to our new friend. His name is Tom Norris and he wishes Chuck was his brother (that was his opening line)
It started to sprinkle and the weather had dropped a lot of degrees that day. It finally felt like winter. Tom’s fingers were cold when he shook our hands. He spit a lot as he bestowed wisdom upon us. But that happens when you are missing teeth. His smile was sincere. His wisdom simple and honest. His eyes caring. His stories funny. In the middle of our conversation he just started praying for us the sweetest prayer.
At the end of the conversation after he thanked us for the Chinese food and conversation we told him we had gotten him some stuff because it was getting cold and that Jesus had been teaching us to just love on people for Him. He just stopped for a minute and his eyes filled and his voice crackled as he wrapped us in a big hug and thanked us. Jess and I both looked at each other with a “o please don’t cry mister because we will lose it right here on the corner with all these cars driving by that are already looking at us like we are crazy”. It was a great conversation and Mr. Norris is one that I hope to see again, unless of course he finds a way out of his current spot in which case I could not be happier to never see him again.
I had a lot to do that day.
But Jesus had better plans.
At camp we used to sing a song “listen the Lord as He speaks softly. Listen to the words of a perfect man. Listen to the voice of a God incarnate. Listen even when you don’t understand.”
Sometimes we just need to be still and know that He is God.
Sometimes we just need to be still and be quiet.
And always we need to constantly learn surrender so He can redirect our days.