Today I sit in the my desert place. You know the one I’m talking about. That desolate, dry, trying place in your life. That place where you feel like you are withering up with no sign of relief. That’s where I am today. That’s where I have been for the last month or so really. I tried to pretend like I was not in that place but if I had to be honest I am. I am tired and weary and feel like I am being led around a desert with no indication of where I am or where I am going.
I keep reading about Jesus’ time in the desert. It encourages me to know that when He came out of the desert He began His ministry. He brought life to the people who surrounded Him. He had to be tempted and tried and worn out for 40 days and nights in that desert place first though. I don’t know why. I’m not a theologian. But I think in my own life I have seen that out of these desert times God always bring refreshing ministry and contacts afterwards. But when will the “forty days” be over?
I am not nearly as strong as Jesus. His attitude remained focused and faithful through that whole experience. My attitude is poor at best. I complain. I cry. I say mean and not good things (one said word accidentally to my boss). I am not effective. I am a poor example to others. I find it increasingly hard to pretend like it’s all ok. I find myself painfully human.
I am faced with the choice to suffer and whine through the desert or to cling to any drop of water I may get. I want to be the person that survives the desert with a spirit and attitude that reflects Jesus. But today I would really just like to throw sand in people’s faces and make them suffer through it with me. I know that Jesus walked the desert before me and with me. So it really will be ok.
So today I choose to drink from the cactus instead of get pricked by it. I choose to build a sandcastle instead of be burned by it. I choose to bury myself in the sand for protection instead of letting the wind whip it against my skin. And I choose to change my attitude so when this desert place fades I will be ready.