This week I had dinner with a new friend and the topic of “first dance” came up.
Mine was in 8th grade when our teacher made us do a historically correct dance for a local history project – except the boys in our class refused to participate.
So maybe it was my sophomore year of high school during our musical GREASE when I, Patty Simcox cheerleader at Ridell High had to dance with Danny. It was staged, choreographed and with one of my close friends – so maybe it doesn’t count either.
Either way – first dances are awkward. But not as awkward as the SLOW DANCE.
You don’t know if you can trust them to lead, if they even know how to lead or who is supposed to initiate. Thank God for taking all real moves out of dancing and opening the floor up to flinging your arms around “to the beat” and bopping your head – now THAT I can keep up with. I can dance in the corner by myself and be more than happy. I can throw a little hip or toe tap in there when appropriate and best of all – I can avoid the ssssslllllllooooooowwwww dance.
Ew. The slow dance.
Now, I am fully aware that I am “ewwing” because I am single. But seriously who likes slow dancing with a stranger, a friend or a relative? Where are you supposed to look – in their eyes the whole time. That’s a LOT of eye contact for someone I’m friends or related to. And the whole hand placement. I mean at that point in the reception or dance people are sweaty. And then you have to put your hands – palm open – on them. And you have to stand close so you don’t put off the middle school part the Red Sea vibe….but that is real close for someone whose babies you are uninterested in or whose breath you don’t want to smell. People are fumbling over feet – there is the awkward “my hand is on you but not really touching you tension” – you end up just swaying back and forth more than dancing.
And the best part is – it’s usually staged. It’s usually the playful “Oh _____ go ask Jody to dance.” No really it’s ok. I’m totally fine sitting this one out. “Let’s all dance together” No really I know where this is going. It’s turning into Jody you dance with him b/c we think we are really funny. “We will dance with them but still talk to each other” well now it’s even more awkward.
In sum (and by sum I mean the end)
1. Please don’t set me up on slow dances
2. Slow/First dances are laughable memories to be cherished
3. Please – make me laugh and tell me about your funniest slow/first dance