I want to be the best. I know I’m not the best but I have this intense desire to become the best at things – not for me, not to please people (although I’m sure there is more of that in there than I would care to admit) but because I want to do what I do well.

I think we are all where we are for a reason – whether is the optimal circumstances or a struggle. Over and over again in leadership books you read lines that basically talk about how important it is to grow and serve and be faithful where you are. I want to do that.

I know people all have limits and while I have experiences weariness, frustration and a whole slew of other feelings I have only neared that limit. It was still undefined to me.

I’m too close to my limit.

Tired. Restless. Short-tempered. Unfocused. Mediocre. Weary. Tearful.

I’m too close to my limit.

And for probably the first time ever – I am taking selfish steps to get away from that limit so I can selflessly do my job well, love students, teach middle school and move forward.

I’m selfish – but to be knowingly selfish is hard. I’m doing it.

As much as I feel like there are people who I’m letting down, other options that I have, a family who I could go home to —–I’m headed off on a road trip.

Nashville bound. Going back to the place that captured my heart and taught me so many 2 minute lessons that have impacted my life long term. 3 days of relaxing, piddling around, walking downtown, soaking in the view, spending time with Jesus, hanging with friends, visiting hole in the wall coffee shops, eating more than my 2000 calories, refueling my tank before I hit the wall.

Because I’m too close to my limit and I don’t like it there.


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