To my sweet girls,
He’s going to break your heart. I know you don’t think so because he’s perfect. He’s all you dreamed of ever wanting. He texts you good morning and texts you goodnight. He calls you beautiful. He says he’ll never leave you, never hurt you, never cheat on you, never _________.
But he’ll break your heart 😦
Not because he’s a bad guy (although some of you pick awful boyfriends, seriously get rid of those jokers!).
Not because you’re not good enough or pretty enough – although it will feel like that at first.
He’ll break your heart because your heart isn’t his and yet you throw it at him like he’s your forever.
Some of you will hear this and it will be like you have ear plugs in. I was like that once too.
But here’s what I’ve learned, and what I’ve seen, and what I hear…..
Over the last 2 weeks several of my girls had their hearts broken, a few of you got boyfriends and others of you developed friends with benefits. But through all the conversations I keep hearing
“He said he wouldn’t do this”
“I thought he was a great guy”
“We’re in love”
“I’m not good enough – that’s why he didn’t want me”
“We don’t need a title”
And it makes my heart hurt for you. Because each of you are so lovely, so beautiful, so talented that guys really should have to work their butts off, pass a test and interview with your dad and I before going out with you. I remember what it was like to be in MS and HS and the be the one without a boyfriend.
To be the one that was going to wait for the boy who met “Jody Code” – and at times it sucked – because it meant you went to prom alone; it meant your first flowers were from your brother in law; it meant you hung with your family at night (my siblings and I loved each other though) But you know what- I wouldn’t redo it.
There were so many times when I thought I liked someone. When they made me laugh. They called me beautiful. They bought me Dr. Pepper. They asked me to a dance – and I said no.
It would have been easy to say yes. We would have had fun. It would have lasted for a few months. They would have said they loved me. I would have felt like I had to say it back. Then they would have broken my heart.
I’m not against you guys having boyfriends. I have even had a few 😉 BUT what I am “against” is when we give boys too much of our hearts too soon. And then our hearts get broken. Drama fills our lives. Friends choose slides. They move on. Our hearts break all over again.
I think part of what it means to be beautiful is knowing how to be yourself on your own. Without a guy telling you how hot you are; without someone texting you each morning. To be beautiful is to know we are lovely in those lonely moments. It’s to believe God has a plan for us when we get left out of group dates. Beautiful is having a standard and a code for our lives that gives us the courage to say no to mediocre relationships and wait for the best relationship.
The Lord is not ignoring the longings and desires of your heart. He know that some of you want to grow up and be moms. He knows most of you want relationships. He knows our desire as girls to be beautiful and to hear that from others. But girls – He is more than enough! He is the protector of our hearts. He is the creator of our bodies. He is the author of our story. He is the one. The one who gets to hold our heart.
There is a time and a place when you’ll fall in love. There is a correct time to talk about getting married. There is a time when you’ll open up in a relationship and be vulnerable. But let it be the right time. Don’t rush. Don’t hurry through a relationship because the world says it should look a certain way, you should be doing certain things, etc. Be patient. Guard your heart. And at the right time, with the right guy – when God is truly at the center – let God guide your relationship. PLEASE don’t rush it. Because when we rush; when we give early access; when we bare all because “we are in love” – our hearts break.
For now – get to know who God is and what He says about you. Discover your beauty.
Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.