in 2008 I thought I was really cool and I started blogging. I used big words to feel smart. I avoided all capital letters to feel cool. But I wrote with honesty. I wrote weekly, if not daily without a care for comments because I needed a place to process.
Funny, how some things do not change.
I still use big words to feel smart and do crazy things because I think they make me look cool. I still find myself with a daily need to process, to feel, to wonder, to grow.
In 2008 my focus was on what it meant to be reckless. I wanted to be different, for my life to look different from the people around me and to do something great with my life.
In 2014 my focus is on abandon. What does it actually mean to abandon my life, my dreams, my hopes, my judgments, my emotions to live a full life? Is that possible? Does it matter?
I think it does. Because the reality is we are all being watched. The neighbor kids down the street, your family, the person who offices next to you, the 1,257 friends you have on Facebook….you’re being watched and your life represents something or someone.
People will be there to see our successes and failures. Often times it feels as though they celebrate the losses and mourn the wins. But daily I need to remember to abandon – to hold lightly to what I feel and cling tightly to what I know.
So here we go on a new old journey. Messy life. Slow growth. But progress.
“We’ve become what everyone else wants us to be – yet the best gift we could bring the world is to be people God created us to be. As writer Henri Nouwen once said, “One of the tragedies of our life is that we keep forgetting who we are.”” – Freeway Journal