Out with a bang

yup folks. twelve hours till my body is on a plane and headed north? (i think) towards Chicago.

I get there and take the CTA “L” to the loop and then transfer to the orange line and then walk five blocks to the CSM office and housing site.

Center for Student Missions attempts to bridge the gaps between teens and the social problems and spiritual emptiness raging our nation. They have sites in some major cities around the U.S. and take groups of junior high and high school groups year round to serve in places within the poorest parts of the city.

I am so excited to have the opportunity to interview with them. Yes I am pretty nervous, but not as nervous as my mamma. My Dad said he was fine until Chicago made the news 3 times this week for becoming the deadliest city in the US. I assured him that if I got shot while serving there this week and hopefully this summer that I want my tombstone to say “She went out with a bang” Ha πŸ™‚ I thought it was funny.

So pray please that I won’t turn the wrong direction πŸ™‚ or look totally lost and get mugged when walking by myself or fall of any sidewalks. And that the interview will go smoothly and as God would plan. Because ultimately it will whether you pray or not…but pray anyway, it’s good practice. πŸ™‚

So I leave you with these songs that are kinda my thoughts for this weekend and new adventure.

Times by Tenth Avenue North
I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, and its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you’
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?
oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
now you pulled me near you
when we’re close i fear you
still im afraid to tell you
all that i’ve done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord i’m so tired of defending
what i’ve become
what have i become?
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh.
i hear you say “my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can’t feel
the times that you’ve questioned ‘is this for real?’
the times you’ve broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
these times you’re healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace
the times you’re hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and attempted to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i dont care where you’ve fallen, where you have been
i’ll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends
mmm, mmm
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

May God’s sheep here His voice and see His love in the city of Chicago. May hope and restoration blanket a broken city ailing with giants.May they feel His love and forgiveness. May the Holy Spirit reign and capture their hearts for His glory.

Peace Be Still – Rush of Fools

Come to Me, you who are weak
Let My strength be yours tonight
Come and rest, let My love be your bed
Let My heart be yours tonight

Peace be still, Peace be still
Please be still and know that I am God
and know that I am God
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

Come empty cup, let Me fill you up
I’ll descend on you like a dove tonight
Lift your head, let your eyes fall into Mine
Let your fear subside tonight


Hallelujah, Hallelujah


If we would just learn to rest and truly believe that God is good and God is sovreign how different our world would be. Peace be still. Rest and healing for the brokenhearted. Hope for the orphans. Change for the hurting. Love for all.

Come on Jesus. Let’s change the world, one relationship at a time.

See you when I return.

Out with a bang

Music Monday

I know you were expected a song from that sweet Jesus tunes CD…maybe tomorrow.

The song today is Beauty From Pain by Superchick.

This song has been through a lot. There is still alot I do not understand, and some of it I’m not sure I ever will. I used the lyrics of this song for a rhetorical assignment last week. We had to read the piece and then invite the class to discuss it with us. Remember I go to a state university and have 2 known Christians in my class. A girl who went to Catholic high school. 2 that profess to be spiritual but have no “belief” in Jesus or Christianity.

It was neat how God used this simple piece of rhetoric to stir up conversations in a diverse classroom. One of the guys who does not believe in religion asks lots of good questions and was open and responsive. Another girl said she was glad to have this song. This Friday is 3 years since her Dad died. You can tell she is still heartbroken. If anything, He reminding how far something small can go. And now I know they are watching. They are waiting to see what God will do next. They are waiting to see if He is real. If He exists or if I can just read words of hope and another a Psalm and that they will fall deafly like the leaves without a sound or thought. I needed this reminder and experience as I prepare for my interview Friday (feel free to pray about that).

Melissa (read Psalms) and I now know who and what to pray for. And we are going to. There are opportunities in this class and God is ready to show the lost that He does exist, that His love is real. So if you think about, pray for Kim on Friday. And pray that these people see Jesus in a real way.

God is ready to heal the brokenhearted and bring beauty from pain. Will you show the lost that He is real?

“Beauty From Pain”

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i’m alive but i feel like i’ve died
And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i’m slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday i’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I’ll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can’t understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you’ve brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday i’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can’t see
I forgot how to hope
This night’s been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today,
Someday i’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Music Monday

Quick Breath and Keep Going

whoa. first I can not spell. I spelling going gowing at first. weird.

anyway, I got off of my internship early today so I came home and laid in my bed doing NOTHING. it was fabulous. I refuse to do any work until after dinner. then I will attempt a take home quiz, perhaps some paper writing, a bit of reading, and if i am real ambitious working out. however, a more realistic adventure would be to put new music on my little baby ipod.

so steph asked what was on the amazing Jesus tune CD and I have decided to post it below. I think there is a song on there for everyone and some of them just build on each other in terrific cadence with what Jesus has to say to His people and our response to Him. there are a couple songs that i wish i could x nay but they are there and when i forget to skip them, they too even have a little shiny in them sometimes.

so enjoy. i must go relish in my laziness for a few more minutes and then get back to reality…op there goes gravity…ahahahahahaha

Sweet Jesus Tunes CD

1. east to west – casting crowns

2. i stand amazed – chris tomlin

3. everything glorious – david crowder band

4. what the world will never take – hillsong united

5. love enough – hillsong united

6. life your eyes – leeland

7. simple devotion – misty edwards

8. after your heart – phil wickham

9. peace be still – rush of fools

10. leap of faith – sanctus real

11. yearn – shane and shane

12. wash me clean – shawn mcdonald

13. times – tenth avenue north

14. the one thing i know – sara groves

15. i can feel it – third day

16. track 8 – don’t know that’s why i still call it track 8 πŸ™‚

Quick Breath and Keep Going

Pride vs. Humility

the last two days pride and humility have battled.

Case 1: Macro

I have “taken” macroeconomics one; at least I attempted to take it. I dropped it the very last day possible. So now I am in it again. First, I thought I was a dumb honor’s student (i “took” it honors the first time). After I got my last test back I know think I’m just a dumb economy student. I just do not get it at all. I do not understand why I need to know it or what it’s about. I have tried. I studied for HOURS, literally hours for this test and did horrible horrible horrible on it. And now I have decided that economists are the people who were not smart enough to be philosophers. So needless to say, the two freshmen I sit with outscored me by a letter or so πŸ™‚

Win: Humility. Loss: Pride

Case 2: Sweet Jesus Tunes

That is the name of the mix I made before driving home. My roommate is driving to Chicago tomorrow morning so I made her a bunch of CD’s then decided that I wanted this one too becuase my IPOD adapter is brokey broke. So I made this sweet CD that I did not even know how sweet it was until I started listening to it!

Win: Pride Loss: Humility

Case 3: Sweet Jesus Tunes

Holy Cow, it was a crazy ride home with these songs. Each song kept building and building upon each other and Jesus was just singing to me through them and loving on me and putting me in time out and shoot dog! It was so good, and so so humbling.

Win: Humility Loss: Pride

Case 4: Shopping

enough said.

Win: Humility Loss: Pride

3 points Humility

1 point Pride

Pride vs. Humility

Music Monday

this is definitely one of those weeks where i am having to cling to what i read and make myself read so i have something to cling to. it’s one of those weeks where i can list my inadequacies and weaknesses notebook after notebook but can’t list anything else. it’s one of those weeks where i keep skipping the “why we should hire you” part of my application because i can’t seem to find nice things to say about me and why they should hire me. but i think they should anyway. it’s one of those weeks that i already want to be over.

and it’s one of those weeks when a song says it better

clinging to the fact that I have ravished His soul and he knows me and still chooses me

so go read SOS 4 and then listen to Him love you

Bethany Dillon

“My Love Hasn’t Grown Cold”

You shake your head
What is so hard to believe?
When you are in your bed
I sing over you the sweetest things

Because oh, my love does not tire
I’m awake when the moon is full
And I know the times when you feel lost
And you just aren’t sure

Lo and behold
My love hasn’t grown cold
For you

You cold steal away in the middle of the night
And hide in the light of day
While you cloak yourself in the darkest lies

But oh my love, it swims in the deepest oceans of fear
And as soon as you lower your head
I am here

Lo and behold
My love hasn’t grown cold
For you

If only you could see
How heaven stills when you speak
I know all your days
And I have wrapped you in mystery

And oh, my love for you
Is as wide as the galaxies
Just hold out your hand and close your eyes
And come be with me

Lo and behold
My love hasn’t grown cold
For you

Thanks God for not growing tired when i am straight up exhausted

Music Monday

I love my church

I do. I love love going to church in springfield. it’s alive. it’s truth. it’s relevant. it’s exciting. it’s purposeful. it’s growth. it’s convenient. i mean we now have 4 service times on Sunday (they had two a year ago) and apparently have grown but a thousand people in a year. i really do like it there and have been wanting to get involved in helping with the youth ministry. so today was the last of a series “5 things that will change your life” or something like that and it was on being involved and having a servant’s heart.

the way it roles down here in the bible belt is that we have “special music” when the offering is taken. they sing all sorts of stuff, jesus songs, non jesus song (gasp I know) πŸ™‚ and then today….it topped all days. it made you want to stay for the service after you just to experience it again.

the worship pastor came out which was new, usually one of the sidekicks does it. and then, he started singing what I though was from Phantom of the Opera. Yup, it was and only it was about volunteering and thirty seconds later 8 others worship members were on stage and they did a 10 mintues musical on volunteering. it was hilarious, amazing, and holy cow can these people sing. i mean you knew it all along and then they pulled out Rent (yes in a church) and stood in a line with the same lighting. and had you closed your eyes you would not have known the difference.

what happened at your churchΒ  today that made you glad you were there?

I love my church

Hillsong and Homework

Tonight my roommate and I worked on homework and crooned to some cranked Hillsong.

It was a good time.

Now it’s time for a favorite fall asleep to a movie and we are praying for big rain tomorrow so we can work on homework all day! (i know we are so lame eh) πŸ™‚

happy weekend friends. there better be some good stories next week!

Hillsong and Homework